36 Methods of Mathematical Proof
http://osl.cs.uiuc.edu/~ksen/proof.html
Some are particularly nice ;-)
Proof by obviousness
"The proof is so clear that it need not be mentioned."
Proof by general agreement
"All in favor?. . . "
Proof by intimidation
"Trivial."
" (B Ì P ) , $ (C Î W )
Proof by profanity
(example omitted)
Proof by illegibility
(scribble, scribble) QED
Proof by intuition
"I just have this gut feeling. . ."
1. At the movies:
When you meet acquaintances/friends…
Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:- Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..
2. In the bus:
A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet…
Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:- No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia…..why don’t you try again.
3. At a funeral:
One of the teary-eyed people ask…
Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you?
4. At a restaurant:
When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:- Is the “Butter Paneer Masala” good??
Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit in it.
5. At a family get-together:
When some distant aunt meets you after years
Stupid Question:-Munna,Chickoo, you’ve become so big.
Answer:- Well you haven’t particularly shrunk yourself.
6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask…
Stupid Question:- Is the guy you’re marrying good?
Answer:- No,he’s a miserable wife-beating ,isensitive lout…it’s just the money.
7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call…
Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping…. you dumb witted moron.
8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair…
Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:- No, its autumn and I’m shedding……
9. At the dentist when he’s sticking pointed objects in your mouth…
Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:- No it wont. It will just bleed.
10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman in your office asks…
Stupid Question:- Oh, so you smoke.
Answer:-
Gosh, it’s a miracle …………it was a piece of chalk and now it’s in flames!!!
